pathwaytomysoul.com

Introducing Me

(Story written in 1999, during my Senior Year in HS, for a foster child scholarship)

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
-Marianne Williamson

“Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.”
-Steve Jobs

“When I look in the mirror and the only one there is me
Every freckle on my face is where it’s supposed to be
And I know my creator didn’t make any mistakes on me
My feet, my thighs, my lips, my eyes; I’m loving what I see.”
-India Arie

From the beginning of my life, things were not easy. Born into a poor family with a single mother in an environment plagued by drugs, alcohol, violence and sex, my chances for survival were slim. At six years old, I had to learn how to grow up faster than my peers, for I quickly became the “man” of the house. My mother is young, she’s just seventeen years older than I am, so having three children by the time she was twenty two restricted her from having fun; leaving me to be in charge of my brothers. I have early memories of changing diapers, being in constant ridicule from my peers, my mother coming home high or drunk, excessive beatings, unspeakable abuse and negative influences which all haunt me until this day. Although these problems were prevalent in my early years, one thing saved me and made me the person I am today: unconditional love.

In 1989, my Grandmother became preoccupied with our lifestyle and called Child Protective Services to find a caring family. By April, a family responded and soon, I left a world of grief, malice and repression to discover a world of opportunity, freedom and astounding love. When first placed into foster care, I felt like an outsider; my biological mother was not there, the environment that I hated but adjusted to vanished and all I knew or understood disappeared, all that was left was a clean slate with a loving, supportive and caring family to help me find myself. Along with my newfound freedom, my foster family gave me back something that I was longing for and I am eternally grateful for it: my childhood.

I no longer had to worry about my brothers (at first it was hard but my foster mother told me to live my life) and for the first time ever, I had a sense of purpose. Immediately I began to discover hidden talents. I found the need for constant intellectual stimulation so I read every book I could get my hands on, I discovered that I had an artist living inside of me so I drew anything that I found appealing, I found a love for computers so I took them apart to learn more and I even learned how to ride a bike. The smallest things that I missed growing up were exposed to me and introduced a new person that was dying to get out. All of these positive reinforcements were revealed to me from a family that believed in my abilities and taught me the importance of self-actualization.

Today, because of love and support, I am now a college graduate, a soldier in the United States Army Reserves and a firm believer in the power of love (Updated May, 2004 after Graduating). I decided to get an Associates degree in Web Site Design and a Bachelors degree in Web Management/E-Commerce along with a concentration in Sociology. I chose to work in the computer industry because technology excites me and concentrate in Sociology because the subject is fascinating. I have one more year of college left and I will take advantage of every opportunity that is offered to me while I continue to achieve my endeavors successfully.

Although the earliest years of my life were inundated with doubt and sorrow, I believe that I was tested to see how long I could carry those cumbersome burdens. I am grateful to have met influential people that helped me find myself and blessed to have a family that lead me to the path of my soul. I have discovered an eternal radiance inside myself that refuses to die; I am determined to succeed no matter the opposition. I do not regret nor do I wish that I could change anything from my past for it has made me stronger. Now, I will face any adversary with a strong will and high hopes. From all that I experienced, I know that God will always have his arms around me, regardless of the circumstance. If I was not blessed with a caring family, writing this story would not be possible, for their love discovered ME.

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Update: December 7th, 2007:

It’s funny reading this About Page every once in awhile and realizing just how truly blessed I am.

Some Updates:

• I am four classes away from my M.B.A with a concentration in Information Technology
• I own the home next door to my now ADOPTED parents.
• I was adopted at 22
• I run and own a business with 3 of my closest friends
• www.RideGroupLLc.com
• www.NutsAndBoltsDesign.com
• www.GetNoticedFirst.com
• I have a German Sheppard/Rottweiler mixed dog named “Miles Davis Pinder”
• I now have a tattoo on my right arm of an open door with a brick pathway leading into the door; symbolizing “Pathway to my soul”. It also reminds me to “Keep an open mind/heart” and to know there will ALWAYS be an open door of opportunity out there, I just need to walk through it.
• I found the love of my life!

Even though things are going so well in my life, life hasn’t been without its troubles. That’s fine, as they say, “Joy wouldn’t be so good if it wasn’t for pain”.

I refuse to cave in and I still see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I’ll update again in another couple of years.

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